There are so many details that surround planning funerals.

You might be involved in making the arrangements. This will entail decisions about caskets, the service, who is going to officiate. Are you going to use the church or the mortuary home?


There will be decisions to be made about what bereavement verses, quotes, prayers, and scriptures to use in the eulogy. Are there any grief quotes that are special to you?

A good book to resource is

My Deepest Sympathies...: Meaningful Sentiments for Condolence Notes and Conversations, Plus a Guide to Eulogies

You will also be asked what music you want. There will be choices about what music you want played and sung. After the interment at the cemetery, my mom chose to have a memorial service at the church celebrating my dad’s life. We sang all of my dad’s favorite hymns.

Are you going to have a funeral dinner? Most families do have some kind of meal. “ Breaking bread “ together can be healing.

Flowers will need to be ordered. The family traditionally orders certain flower bouquets, while other sympathy arrangements can be ordered by anyone.

Consider helping children who will be going to the service by talking to them ahead of time. Most have not attended a visitation or memorial service, so they don’t know what to anticipate. Just having a small understanding of what to expect will help ease some of their distress.

Do you want a funeral directors suggestions that might not occur to most of us? I have a friend who is a director and he was good enough to offer his thoughts.

There are other decisions, besides the burial service, that come up when a person dies. Families coming from some distance are going to have to make travel arrangements and perhaps lodging accommodations.

bereavement airfare looking out airplane window

Do you choose to book bereavement airfares or just check what last minute flights are available? What about renting a car? Are you going to bunk in with family or rent a room at a local hotel/motel?

Does your job allow you bereavement leave? What about pay? Does your company have a bereavement policy? Are there any qualifications or requirements?

After the service, how do you write out the bereavement thank you notes? Do you have to write them all or can someone help you? Often the undertaker/director provides you with the cards.

It is my hope that some of these thoughts, ideas and links can help make all these decisions at the time of a loved ones death just a little bit smoother and easier.

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Scripture Verse

And call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.

Psalm 50:15

If You Knew Steven Perry

If you would like to buy either of Mr. Perry's songs, "If You Knew" or "It's Okay" to play at a funeral, go to my Comfort for Bereavement Store. There you will find it available as a CD, sheet music or as a MP3 downloads.

It's Okay Steven Perry