How to Provide Comfort to the Bereaved

Following is a list of ideas to consider when you want to provide comfort to someone who is grieving.

In the days following the funeral make an effort to write a note expressing sympathy, call or drop by. Maybe invite them to coffee, to go for a walk, or to come over your house.

2) Let them grieve—

Bereavement hurts. Allow the person their time of grief. They must go through this pain. If we pretend that all is okay we just delay healing.

3) Listen with love—

Let them talk, don’t judge their emotions. Often we don’t know what to say in sympathy. Most times it is not necessary to say much at all - just listen.

4) Accept them where they’re at –

Those grieving will be going the stages of bereavement. We must not censor how they feel. It is a process they must go through and we can help most by our acceptance of them and how they’re feeling.

Ask a leading question to let them know that it is okay for them to talk about their departed loved one with you.

6) Stick with them –

Grieving is not a quick and tidy process. Expect to be supportive for the long haul, without being impatient. If a death of an elderly person was expected the bereavement process may take 6 months. An unexpected or complicated death may take much longer. So remain available to them no matter the time frame.

7) Be real –

People will be able to tell if you are sincere. Follow the “Golden Rule” – Treat others as you want to be treated. Don’t pretend you are interested if you are not.

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