Anticipatory GriefAnticipatory grief is defined as experiencing grief and loss before the actual death of a loved one has occurred. Many people begin to grieve the impending loss of a loved one once they hear the news that death is coming. I experienced this when my dad had Alzheimer’s. I knew there was no cure. And while we tried to live the best life we could at whatever stage he was at, there always lingered the knowledge that one day Alzheimer’s would kill him, if something else didn’t take him first.
You know it’s coming, you just don’t know when. This is a difficult burden to bear. It weighs on us even when we are not thinking about it. If this journey continues for an extended period of time it can really grind you down and wear you out. The symptoms you can experience are many of the same you would experience at the death of your loved one. Denial, mood swings, forgetfulness, disorganization, anger, depression, loneliness, physical symptoms, change in weight, affected sleep, anxiety, fatigue. As with all sorrows you must take measure to care for yourself both physically and emotionally. (refer to my pages Healthy Bereavement and Unhealthy Grief) build yourself a support network, both friends and organizations like the Alzheimer’s Assoc. It is important to recognize that anticipatory grief is real. Do not deny its existence. The best way to cope is to accept it is there and to begin the work that must be accomplished. Denying it won’t make it go away.
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